Working in the BDSM and mental health industries can lead someone to a few interesting questions, as well as frustrations. One such frustration is the lack of understanding, held by the traditional health care worker, of BDSM, kink, fetish, alternative sexualities, etc., that can unfortunately lead to pathologization and discrimination. One book that I recommend to anyone working in the health care fields, especially mental health is, Becoming A Kink Aware Therapist, by Caroline Shahbaz and Peter Chirinos. It is evidence-based, well grounded in current research and comprehensive. It is a very easy read as well.

Below is an excerpt, which simply defines BDSM:

“The term ‘BDSM’ is an abbreviation that stands for a variety of concepts and consensual behaviors enacted within a particular relationship dynamic (Magliano, 2015). The term itself dates back to 1969 (Partridge et al., 2006)….

• The ‘B’ and ‘D’ traditionally stands for bondage and discipline, which include activities related to restraining and inflicting extreme sensations in the form of punishment.
• The ‘D’ and ‘S’ stands for Dominance and submission and pertain tot he psychological aspects of control in which one person gives the orders and the other complies. This often takes place with a written social contract. This contract may outline protocols, expectations, limits, and boundaries.
• The ‘S’ and ‘M’ stands for sadism and masochism, usually simply known and written as “SM”. In the media and as part of scintillating titillation, the most vivid images of BDSM relate to inflicting and receiving intense sensation, like pain. In actuality, this may not necessarily be part of any BDSM relationship.
• Finally, the ‘M’ and ‘S’ stands for Master and slave. This relates to a relationship dynamic between two consenting adults where one assumes varying degrees of authority and responsibility over a willing partner.

Strength of identification and affiliation with a common BDSM community and frequency of practice are primary determining factors that differentiate one who is curious or a fetishist from one who considers this as a part of their personal and/or sexual identity.”

I would also like to add, based on my experience, this is sometimes a part of ones sexual repertoire or identity and sometimes simply a part of their psychological makeup or behavior, separate from sexuality.

I will be compiling a list of Kink-Aware Mental Health workshops in the future. Please contact me if you are interested in scheduling one.

Questions, comments and sharing of experience always welcome. 🙂

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